The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong click to investigate , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by look these up thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay men desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating my website chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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