The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to click reference produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially look at these guys in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication look here uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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