The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin click over here (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay guys want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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